Steve Sikes Blog
Steve Sikes Blog
“An Ephesian 6:4 father is the compass boys read to find the correct path to masculinity and girls read to find the right road to femininity.” Steve Farrar, POINT MAN
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Bob Keesee is our oldest son’s father-in-law. He’s quiet, unassuming and always serving. I saw Bob again several weeks ago in Chicago at our son’s medical school graduation and reception weekend.
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Two of Bob and Sharlene’s three daughters were in Chicago for the weekend’s festivities (of course, one of them is married to our son, Jordan!). I watched Annie and Jacqueline sit on their dad’s lap, hold his hand, rest their head on his shoulder, laugh at his corny jokes, sing and pray with him, walk beside him, etc.
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I was reminded of a particular chapter in Steve Farrar’s book, Point Man, entitled: “How to raise masculine sons and feminine daughters.” All three of Bob and Sharlene’s daughters are godly, spiritual, serving, kind, caring, respectful of others, and feminine. Sharlene, their mother, has a lot to do with how her daughters turned out but so does their father, Bob.
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“In gender role development, the evidence points to fathers as having the more important influence, not only in fostering a male self-concept in boys, but femininity in girls. Mothers do contribute to their daughters’ adoption of the feminine role, but have little influence on the masculinity of their sons.”
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The above is a quote Farrar takes from Ambrom & Salkind’s book, Child Development. Farrar goes on to say that he believes the key scripture for daughter’s becoming feminine and sons becoming masculine is Ephesians 6:4, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
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The following are several of Steve Farrar’s points about this particular passage:
• Fathers should raise their children in fairness (NOT embitter/provoke their children)
• Fathers should raise their children with tenderness
• Fathers should raise their children with firmness
• Fathers should raise their children in Christ
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Six ways fathers can embitter their children:
1. By overprotection
2. By favoritism
3. By discouragement
4. By forgetting that the child growing up has a right to have ideas of his own, and need not be an exact copy of his father
5. By neglect (SPEND TIME WITH YOUR KIDS!)
6. By bitter words and outright physical cruelty
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Four tips that can help a man develop tenderness with his children:
1. Listen to them and respect their feelings
2. If you have been wrong or too harsh, admit your wrongdoing and ask their forgiveness
3. Listen to the input your wife gives you about each child
4. Be “high touch” and dispense liberal doses of encouragement to both sons & daughters
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OH, DID I FORGET TO MENTION BOB’S DAD (the girls’ grandpa)?! He was a compass to his kids before Bob became a compass to his; an original POINT MAN who kept pointing his life and heart toward the perfect compass JESUS!
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GIGATTAATTGIG!
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