Steve Sikes Blog  

You know how it goes… without love she reacts without respect and without respect he reacts without love and without love she reacts without respect…!  Dr. Emerson Eggerichs calls this the “CRAZY CYCLE” because it’s CRAZY!!  Have you experienced it?  Most of us (who are engaged or married) have at one time or another.

But Emerson, in his book LOVE & RESPECT, doesn’t leave us hanging!  He goes on to discuss two other possible relationship/marriage cycles:

• ENERGIZING CYCLE: his love motivates her respect and her respect motivates his love!

• REWARDED CYCLE: his love regardless of her respect and her respect regardless of his love!

If you were able to just pick one of the above cycles, which one would you select?  I don’t think there is a sane person anywhere who would willingly choose to live in the CRAZY CYCLE – yet many do!  Why?  We are basically selfish.  We want what we want when and how we want it.

What does God (through Paul) have to say about LOVE & RESPECT?  “Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”  Ephesians 5:33

In other words, God says, “JUST DO IT!”  LOVE HER even when you don’t “feel like” loving her; RESPECT HIM even when you don’t “feel like” respecting him!

If you are looking for some excellent marriage enrichment, or wanting to be a “cycle breaker” or considering marriage in the future – you are encouraged to take part in our LOVE & RESPECT class beginning Wednesday night, March 17. 

God is good all the time.  Mr. Steve

“Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.’  Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.  Instead, you ought to say, ‘If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.’”  James 4:13-15

Last Sunday, the mother of Olympic skater, Joannie Rochette, died of a massive heart attack after arriving in Vancouver, British Columbia to watch her daughter compete.  Therese Rochette was only 55 years old.  Two days after her mother’s death, Canada’s Joannie Rochette skated her short program and on Thursday night completed her free program.

AP sports’ writer, Barry Wilner, wrote the following (2/24/2010): “With fans still applauding her performance, the 24-year-old skater, composed herself and awaited her marks.  When she saw she was third, Rochette again began sobbing while blowing kisses to the crowd and patting her heart.”

“I have no regrets,” she said in a statement released by Skate Canada.  “It was a very nice welcome – hard to handle, but I appreciate the support.  I’ll remember this forever.”

This is just another story that reminds me that life on this earth is fragile and not to be taken for granted.  We are truly here for such a short time!  So…
“LET US hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.  And LET US consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds… LET US encourage one another-and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”  Hebrews 10:23-25

God is good all the time!  Mr. Steve

I’m “technically” proud of Devon Westcott!  Devon finished his pharmacy tech program two weeks ago and passed his certification exam with flying colors!  He began his pharmacy tech internship this past week at a nearby Walgreens.  Devon has also held down one to two jobs all through this year’s schooling – leaving for school at 6 am and returning home from work after midnight.

I’m “technically” proud of Marlon Bundridge!  Marlon will complete his electrical tech degree program the first week of March.  Marlon is also a hard worker and is making plans to begin his three-plus year electrical tech apprenticeship soon.

I’m “technically” proud of Dwayne Bundridge!  Dwayne still has about 6 months to go in completing his tech degree program in auto-mechanics.  However, he has landed a job at Glassboro Firestone where he is getting some very important field experience!

Since last September, Devon, Dwayne, Marlon, and I have got together for a weekly Bible study.  Jay Lindsey even stopped in for a study or two while on break from culinary school.  I love the spiritual hearts of these young men and their school and work ethic.  Like I said – I’m “technically” proud!

Plus, I’m “technically” proud of:  Terrance Elie working on his marketing degree; Khalif Church working toward his computer graphics degree; and Neil Fair working on a tech degree in music.  Let’s encourage all of these young men to keep up the good work and finish strong! 

Imagine the day when:
• You need to go to the pharmacy to pick up some antibiotics and Devon is there to assist you;
• Marlon offers to help you solve an electrical problem;
• Dwayne fixes your car;
• Jay feeds you;
• Terrance and Khalif make you more computer marketable;
• And Neil puts it all to music!

What a team!  I’m “TECHNICALLY”proud!! 

God is good all the time!  Mr. Steve

After spending the last three weeks meditating upon 1 Corinthians 3-6, I can’t get a certain couple out of my mind!  Before I tell you who they are, let me remind you a few things Paul tells the Corinthians:

• We are the temple of God, indwelt by God’s Holy Spirit (3:16; 6:19)

• God is our builder (3:5-7)

• Jesus is our foundation (3:11)

Plus, according to Paul, not only are we the building…
• We are also His “fellow workers or builders” (3:9)!

Now what does this mean?

As God’s fellow workers, it appears we have choice of what material to use in building upon the foundation of Jesus!  We can build with gold, silver and precious stones or we can use inferior building material like wood, hay and straw (3:12)! 

Whatever material we use – it will be revealed in time.  I have seen more than a few “fellow workers” build upon the foundation of Jesus with inferior materials of legalism, man-made traditions and a graceless gospel – which is no gospel at all!

In contrast, let me tell you about one godly couple (of many) in our congregation: 

Over 47 years ago, this young married duo moved to South Jersey after graduating from college to teach in our public schools and strengthen the Lord’s church in the Northeast.  Now, almost five decades later, they continue to co-labor with God using gold, silver and precious stones as their spiritual building material!  Upon the foundation of Jesus Christ, they have lived, taught and mentored the true gospel of Christ: the cross of Christ; the mind of Christ; the love of Christ; the holiness of Christ; the servant-heart of Christ; and the mission and purpose of Christ in their life’s work.  Many are the fruit of their labor!  Today I thank God for GPS (Gold, Precious stones, Silver) builders—Dwight and Mary Lea Thompson! 

God is good all the time! 
Mr. Steve

There’s a confession somewhere in this article, just bear with me.  When I was in my early teens, I started buying a certain candy bar about once every three months or so. 

You probably thought that was my confession.  It’s not.

This past week my mind went back to my early teen years when I saw my first Snickers’ commercial on TV.  My football hero was eating one!  He had a flat-top haircut, a number 19 on his football jersey and wore black, high-top football cleats.  You guessed it.  My all-time football hero is the late quarterback for the Baltimore Colts, John Constantine Unitas; I thought if Johnny “U” ate Snickers – then I’d eat Snickers!  Pretty strong mind I’ve got, don’t you think?

My confession is that not only has Snickers been my favorite candy bar for over four decades, the Colts have been my favorite football team for even longer!  I guess you know who I’m rooting for today in SuperBowl XLIV?!  Go, Colts!

Now my point:  making decisions based on association is not only very powerful, it can be extremely dangerous!  I’m 57 years old and I still eat Snickers, and it all started because Johnny Unitas – “The Golden Arm” – ate Snickers!  What are you doing because someone you admire is doing the same thing?  Maybe a better question is: Who is looking up to you and imitating your likes, dislikes, decisions, etc.?

When Paul told the Corinthians to imitate him as he imitated Christ (1 Corinthians 11:1), he meant – “AS HE IMITATED CHRIST!”  I NEED TO BE VERY CAREFUL THAT MY LIFE IS GROUNDED ON IMITATING CHIRST MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE – even a hero with a flat-top!  GO, CHRIST!!

God is good all the time.  Mr. SnIcKErS

I got a surprise when I looked inside my office mail slot this week.  The first thing I noticed was a little paper church building glued to a grass-green piece of cardstock that said, “The Foundation.”  The second thing I noticed was the writing all over the walls and roof of my miniature building:

• Handicapped programs for kids in the community.
• Clothes collection for the poor.
• Addiction programs, meals, talks, testimonies.
• Free yard work and house work for shut-ins.
• A night the homeless can come to the church building, eat a meal, spend the night, and we’ll wash their laundry.

As I read and re-read what was written, I felt (to some extent) I was on holy ground looking into the heart of God through our teens.  Of course, I wasn’t the only one with a church building in my mail slot; all of the elders and Dan had buildings also – each with different statements of vision, service, connection and outreach.

Last Sunday night, the teens had 28 in their “Small Group.”  Tim Davis had the group break-up into eight smaller groups to put their church buildings together and come up with foundational ideas of what Jesus’ body in action should look like.

I’ve made a decision to keep my little church building and foundation close to my computer this year.  Just looking at it from time to time will be a reminder how much God desires to have a voice through our children and teens.  May we become more and more a people under the BASILEIA/REIGN OF GOD!

“Seek ye first His BASILEIA/REIGN OF GOD and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.”  Matthew 6:33

God is good!  Mr. Steve

Did you know that the United States Constitution is the shortest and oldest written constitution still in use by any nation in the world today?

Why do you do what you do?  Say what you say?  Live how you live? 
What would you state is YOUR foundation for all of the above? 

(Foundation: the basis or groundwork of anything.)

Before interviewing and eventually moving to Pitman, I had never been to Philadelphia, PA.  I had never seen the Liberty Bell, visited Independence Hall, or been so close to the Constitutional history of our United States!  And even though it was just a “copy”, I had never read the Preamble to our Constitution in such historic atmosphere:

“We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.”

The U.S. Constitution was written and adopted to be foundational to how our United States operates.
Now, what’s foundational to how you operate? 

I am thankful for the Constitution, and so thankful to be an American.  However, my personal foundation for why I do what I do, say what I say, and live how I live – is not based on the Constitution of the United States or even being an American citizen!

My foundation is Jesus Christ and Him alone! 

Listen to God’s preface or “preamble” through the Apostle Paul – “For no man can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 3:11).” 

NOW THAT’S FOUNDATIONAL! 

God is good!  Mr. Steve

“Success, recognition, and conformity are the bywords of the modern world where everyone seems to crave the anesthetizing security of being identified with the majority.” 
(Martin Luther King, Jr. “Strength to Love” speech, 1963)

A few months before the 1996 Summer Olympic Games in Atlanta, I chaperoned our oldest son’s High School music group to Georgia’s capital city.  After their performance at Six Flags over Georgia, we toured pre-Olympic sites, saw a Braves baseball game and viewed the “Sweet Auburn” neighborhood and home church of Martin Luther King, Jr. 

I was reminded that although King was the youngest person to receive the Nobel Peace Prize (1964) for his efforts to end racial segregation and racial discrimination, his life was far from peaceful!  He was assassinated on April 4, 1968.  So it is when a person goes against the flow of society, even when it is best for society to listen and make changes!  Running against majority’s flow continues to be socially unacceptable and reputation threatening – if not life threatening.  Just ask Jesus!

Keeping our eyes on Jesus and going against the flow can become so wearisome.  Take heart!  Pay careful attention to the following words of togetherness and hope in an old freedom song sung during the Civil War Era: Walk Together Children. 
                                                                                   
Walk together children
Don’ you get weary
Walk together children
Don’ you get weary
Oh, talk together children
Don’ you get weary
There’s a great camp meeting in the promised land

Sing together children
Don’ you get weary
Sing together children
Don’ you get weary
Oh, shout together children
Don’ you get weary
There’s a great camp meeting in the promised land

God is good all the time and all the time God is good.  Mr. Steve

“Preparation: the work or planning involved in making something or somebody ready or in putting something together in advance.”

Like many Christian mothers, my mother started praying for me before the cradle.  At times, it must have seemed somewhat hopeless – her prayers for my spiritual growth and change – but her knees only revealed her perseverance.  Mom set the stage in my spiritual preparation by giving me Scripture to memorize at a young age (before five).  And when she would correct me, she would often use Scripture to do it.

I remember coming home one summer from college and sharing a joke (just a little “shady”) to my family around the dining room table.  I don’t know where Dad was, but he wasn’t there that day.  After the joke everyone laughed except Mom.  I still remember Mom’s eyes as she looked at me with love and not a little disappointment, and said, “Steve, you will be held accountable for every idle word you say.” 

Then she quoted Matthew 12:36-37: “But I say unto you, that every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.  For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.” 

I remember feeling so ashamed.  Preparation of the heart is hard, and in some cases (like mine), takes a lot of time!  I apologized to Mom and vowed to myself never to tell a “shady” joke again, no matter how funny it is.  I’ve really tried to remain faithful to that 36 year-old vow.

I say all of this to simply state the following: Scriptures shared in love by someone who lives Scripture, is a powerful tool in preparing hearts for God’s will and use. 

As preparations are still being made for the construction of our new church building, may we voluntarily open our hearts to God’s construction on us and say, “O Lord, prepare me!”  God is good all the time.  Mr. Steve

My first experience with this particular person was listening to her brag on her children.  Each one was so talented; each one could do just about anything!  She was proud of her family and it showed!

Last Saturday she called me and wanted to know how my back and knee were getting along.  Just like a nurse, she encouraged me to finish my appointments with physical therapy, do my exercises, and take care of myself.  She said, “Steve, we need you; I need you.”

As she talked to me over the phone I could tell her breathing was labored.  I knew she was on oxygen and morphine and yet she was calling me to encourage me and check up on my health status!

As a nurse, she is affectionately called, “Sarge.”  Around here we call her “Inspiring,” “Amazing,” “Example,” “Sister-in-Christ,” and “Friend.”

Some words and phrases come to mind when I think about Tanya McBride: tough, faithful, hard-working, compassionate caretaker, considerate, self-sacrificing, supportive, giving, family-oriented, humble, positive, persevering, encouraging…

I thank God for Tanya McBride!  If Tanya had lived in another century, I truly believe her name would have been included in Hebrews 11.  I definitely think of Tanya when I read the first few verses of Hebrews 12: “Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance, and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you may not grow weary and lose heart.”  Hebrews 12:1-3

In my book, Tanya McBride is already walking among the clouds!  Tanya motivates me to daily fix my eyes on Jesus and run my race with faithful endurance.

Thank you, Tanya, for being a heroine of faith to so many!  We love you!!! 
God is good all the time and all the time God is good.  Mr. Steve

I’m so thankful I’m adopted!

And I’m thankful Jesus was “adopted” by Joseph!  (Matthew 1:16 “Jacob was the father of Joseph the husband of Mary, by whom Jesus was born, who is called the Messiah.”) Note:  Joseph is not mentioned as the father of Jesus but “the husband of Mary, by whom Jesus was born.”

Dr. Luke put it this way: “The angel answered and said to Mary, ‘The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; and for that reason the holy Child shall be called the Son of God.’”  Luke 1:35

Wow!  I’m adopted, Jesus was “adopted” and guess what?  As a believer, YOU’RE ADOPTED!  My Father and Jesus’ Heavenly Father – is also YOUR FATHER!  Listen to what the Apostle Paul says, “For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!”  Romans 8:15

What does all of this mean?  Listen to this GOOD NEWS:
• At one time we were slaves of the flesh and fear was our master!

• Now, we proclaim that God is our Father!

• Jesus Christ is our big brother!

• AND…everyone indwelt by our Father’s Spirit is our brother and sister!

I’ll say it again – I’M SO THANKFUL I’M ADOPTED!! 

I’m also thankful that in the last few weeks, Cassidy, Matthew and Rashad have all been adopted into the family of God!  GO ABBA!  “For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus.  For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.”  Galatians 3:26-27

God is good all the time and all the time God is good! 

MERRY CHRISTMAS, FAMILY OF GOD!  Mr. Steve

I was pretty ornery growing up.  My report cards during my first grade through third grade years nearly always included the word “mischievous” at the bottom of each card – next to “student’s attitude.”  I remember my mom explaining what that word meant the first time I saw it… “ill-behaved, impish, ornery.”

Out of my twelve brothers and sisters, there is no question that I received the most spankings, although I don’t remember any past the seventh grade.  By then, I guess, I was beginning to see the light or more pointedly, feel the burn!

My initial view of God originated, I believe, out of my own orneriness and need for constant correction.  No surprise that during my first thirteen years of life I developed a view of God as a disciplinarian; a view affirmed by scriptures depicting God’s punishment of the disobedient.  Through it all, I owe much to Dad for saving me from a life of crime, or at least from a life of professional orneryism! 

My next view of God developed in my teen years as I traded my disciplinarian God for a God who loved sports, good grades and moral choices.  He was good and I was trying to be good.  I remember thinking – God and I made a pretty good team.  Hmmm.

My third view of God was birthed as I became a father.  It was during my early years of parenting that Patti and I and kids moved back to work alongside Dad and Mom in a children’s home.  Through Dad and Mom I saw a God of strength, grace, mercy, and sacrifice, along with a great compassion for the hurting and abhorrence for evil. 

As you can see, my views of God have definitely transformed over the years and continue to do so.  Thanks, Dad and Mom for being light and salt to me!  Your Jesus lifestyle and loving perseverance, laid the foundation for my ongoing pursuit of the wonder of God’s true being and character. 

God is good all the time and all the time God is good!  Mr. Steve

I remember when… I typed all of my school papers on a typewriter.

I remember when…there was no such program called “Spell Check.” 

One of my High School graduation gifts in 1970 was a huge Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary.  I took it with me to college and used it constantly to check and correct my spelling.  Today all I have to do is click on my Spell Check icon and my computer will automatically check the spelling of every word in my document.  What a blessing!

Romans chapter eight is the SPIRIT CHECK (not Spell Check) chapter in the Bible.  If you would like to do a SPIRIT CHECK to see if you have the Spirit of God living and ruling your life (Romans 8:9), just read the following seven statements & verses and put a “Yes” or “No” after each one:

• I walk according to the Spirit (8:1) ______

• I am free from the law of sin and death, Romans 6:1-18 (8:2)  ______

• I live according to the Spirit (8:5) ______

• I am spiritually minded (8:6) ______

• I put to death (by the Spirit) the deeds of the body (8:13) ______

• I am led by the Spirit of God (8:14) ______

• I am eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of my body (8:23) ______

I remember when…white-out and correction tape was a necessity in absolving typing errors.

I took the above assessment and humbly realize, besides being set free, I need to grow in every area of Paul’s SPIRIT CHECK!  Thank You, Holy Spirit, for helping me in my weaknesses and for making intercession for me with groanings which cannot be uttered (Romans 8:26)!  WHAT A BLESSING! 

God is good all the time and all the time God is good!  Mr. Steve

A week after my knee surgery, my back went out; I mean completely out!  I felt almost paralyzed for several days, literally not being able to move but a few inches a minute when necessary.  (I know there are several of you who know exactly how I was feeling.)

During my surgery and “recovery” time I missed many things:
• Dan Cooper’s presentation to area-wide preachers on breaking the 200 member barrier

• Our church family’s 24 hours of prayer (Thank you, Patti, for hosting our 12am–3am prayer slot!)

• Our shepherds leading the flock during Sunday’s service of prayer and song

• Witnessing Cassidy Davis being baptized (I am so proud of you, Cassidy!)

• Several Bible studies, mentoring classes, meetings, counseling appointments…

• Mallory Perine’s School Christmas Play (Sorry, Mal.)

• A wedding I was scheduled to officiate (Thank you, Pastor Krinks, for filling in and Rachel Cooper for taking care of Rehearsal night!)

• Pack the Pulpit Sunday and my Life Group helping the Manfre’s deliver the food to needy families

• Staff meetings, prayer sessions, planning sessions, fellowship time with Christ’s Body…

What I received:
• Prayers, calls, cards, meals, “CorNuts”, a huge fruit basket, along with many offers to serve and take care of any need

• Patti delaying her trip several days to KC (to visit our kids and granddaughter for Thanksgiving) so she could stay and serve her hubby

• The Petersons bringing over a Thanksgiving feast for Jessica and me

Thanksgiving 2009, will forever be memorable!  Thank you, church family, for your love, grace, mercy, encouragement, prayers, and service!  I love you!!  You have reminded me once again of one of the greatest of all truths about the Lord’s Body: “If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it” (1 Corinthians 12:26). 

God is good all the time and all the time God is good!  Mr. Steve

I awoke at the sound of my left knee talking to my right hand.  “I’ll never be as good as you.  I’ll never be a hand.” 

I shook my head.  The last thing I wanted to endure was to listen in on a conversation between two of my own body parts!  Being on oxycodone for five days, following a full dose of anesthesia for knee surgery, didn’t help matters.

I lay praying my right hand would just keep it quiet, but then it blurted, “You’re correct, you’ll never be as good as me!”

That did it!  The sane part of my mind raced to 1Corinthians 12 where body parts actually do talk to each other: some from an inferiority position – comparing themselves with others they see more important; and some from a superiority position – comparing themselves with others they see less important.

However, Paul makes it clear that there are no “movie stars” or drudges in the Body of Christ. 
1. The body is one, yet has many members.  (12:12)
2. God is sovereign.  He has placed each member in the body just as He desired. (12:18)
3. There should be no division in the body.  All members should have the same care for one another. (12:25)
4. If one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it. (12:26)

The effects of oxycodone are lessening; my right hand just apologized to my left knee!  I’m relieved they finally realize that if the whole body were a hand, where would the walking be?
“Now, YOU are Christ’s body, and individually members of it (12:27).”  God is good.  Mr. Steve

Ps. Steve is gradually recovering from the effects of A-KO (Anesthesia, Knee surgery, Oxycodone)!